TOP3, Little Changes

Title: Little Changes [Sanada/Nozawa]
Rating/Warnings: PG for awkward confessions and puberty.
Summary: Nozawa kind of hates everything about puberty.
AN: Happy birthday, Nozawa! You caught me totally off-guard with how cute and talented you are when you started appearing with Sanada and Hasshi, and I’m really glad you’ve been getting a ton of attention ever since. Good luck in the upcoming year!

Little Changes

Lately Nozawa’s been feeling awkward. He feels too tall, skin stretched thin. Sometimes things taste funny and sometimes things hurt for no reason, sometimes he can’t sleep enough and other times he lays awake all night staring at the ceiling.

“What’s up with you?” Sanada asks around a mouthful of melon bread as Nozawa drags himself into their practice room. He tears off a chunk of the bread and hands it to Nozawa, and Nozawa cautiously nibbles a piece to see if today is going to be another day where everything tastes like energy jelly. It’s not, and Nozawa takes a larger bite and chews slowly.

“Nothing,” he says at length. Sanada is licking the last of the bread crumbs off his fingers, Nozawa can’t help but notice.

“Liar,” Sanada replies, but before Nozawa can say anything in reply, Sanada is leaning in close to press his hand against Nozawa’s forehead. His eyes are dark with concern and his breath smells like melon, and there’s a couple other things that Nozawa really, really hates about puberty at that particular moment.

“I’m okay, really,” he tries to insist, focusing on keeping his voice steady.

“Well, you aren’t hot or anything,” Sanada says, pulling his hand away at last, and even though Nozawa knows what he means, he can’t stop his heart from slinking down into his stomach to hide.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he says glumly. Sanada’s already turned away to start changing and doesn’t seem to hear.

*****

Sanada seems to be getting all the growth with none of the awkward, and Nozawa can’t help but hate him a little for it, in the ten seconds a day he spends not having other, more confusing feelings about him.

“Whatcha starin’ at?” Hasshi wants to know, his weight dropping on Nozawa’s shoulders, and Nozawa freezes.

“Nothing!” he says quickly. Hasshi’s chin digs into Nozawa’s shoulder.

“Is that you and Sana-chan’s dance?” Hasshi asks, and Nozawa lets his eyes drift back towards Sanada and Yara. Yara slides hands over Sanada’s hips to show him one of the steps, and Nozawa’s stomach rolls. “It looks cool!”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great.” Nozawa tries to push Hasshi away, but Hasshi just clings tighter. “Don’t you have a real unit to get back to?”

“Don’t you love me anymore, Nokkun?” Hasshi wails as Nozawa starts slapping at him. “Sana-chan, Nokkun doesn’t love me anymore!”

“It’s your turn,” Sanada says, suddenly very close to them. His gaze is frosty, making Nozawa’s stomach twist, and Nozawa gives Hasshi another shove and twists out of his grip. Hasshi doesn’t seem to notice and switches to hanging off of Sanada instead.

“You love me, right, Sana-chan?”

“You seem a bit tense, today, Nozawa-kun!” Yara says with a leer, and Nozawa yelps when Yara’s hands slap down on his shoulders and start kneading roughly.

*****

“Hey,” Sanada says as they’re changing back into their street clothes, “so. About Hashimoto.”

“Hasshi?” Nozawa mumbles, head stuck in his sweater. “What about Hasshi?”

“He touches you a lot,” Sanada says.

“What?” Nozawa’s head finally pops free. “Hasshi touches everybody a l…” Nozawa trails off when he sees the angry set of Sanada’s jaw. “Sanada?”

“So you like him?” Sanada asks.

“Of course I…” Nozawa blinks. “Are you jealous? Of Hasshi?”

“No,” Sanada snaps. Nozawa raises an eyebrow, and Sanada’s shoulders hunch. “Maybe. You like him, right? Your face, when he was touching you…it was the first time you smiled all day.”

“It’s because I was watching you,” Nozawa blurts out. Sanada stares at him, and Nozawa drops his eyes to his sneakers, cheeks hot. “It isn’t Hasshi that I like. It isn’t Hasshi that I want to touch me.”

Sanada is silent for a long moment, and Nozawa’s stomach plummets. He starts to turn away, but Sanada grabs his arm and won’t let go even when Nozawa tries to shake him off.

“Tell me who you like,” Sanada orders.

“Let go,” Nozawa says, voice low, hating his stupid, awkward body for centering all of its nerves right where Sanada’s hand is hot against his skin.

“Yuuki,” Sanada says again, softer this time, “tell me who you like.”

Nozawa lifts his head up just enough to glare at Sanada, wretched with embarrassment. “I like Yuuma. Now let go.”

“You moron,” Sanada shouts, making Nozawa’s jaw drop, “why didn’t you just say! I got all worked up for nothing! I’ve been having these dreams and…”

“Wh…what?” Nozawa interrupts. He swallows hard before asking, “Do you…like me too?” Sanada nods, cheeks pink but smiling shyly, and Nozawa feels hot and cold and faint and like he could dance “Torn” fifteen times without stopping even if Yara did leer at them the whole time like usual. “How long?”

“I don’t know,” Sanada shrugs, sliding his hand down Nozawa’s arm until he can lace their fingers together. “You started getting tall, and your legs got all long, and your face got all…” Sanada clears his throat suddenly. “Your new haircut, I mean. It’s nice.”

“I like Yuuma’s haircut too,” Nozawa says quietly, reaching up to tug the ends of one of the longer strands.

And then, because the suspense is killing him, Nozawa leans in and presses his mouth to Sanada’s.

Nothing happens at first, except for Sanada’s fingers tightening against his own. Then Sanada tilts his head a little, and their noses bump, and Nozawa almost laughs, but a second later when Sanada’s mouth opens a little, he’s really glad that he didn’t.

Nozawa has to break away a few moments later and take a few deep breaths to try and calm down. He squeaks when Sanada presses closer, presses him into the wall. “Don’t—“

“You too, huh?” Sanada chuckles, and Nozawa finally notices that something hard is brushing against his hip. He flushes even darker red and can’t meet Sanada’s eyes until Sanada uses his free hand to tip Nozawa’s chin up.

“This puberty thing,” Nozawa licks his lips, “it sucks.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sanada says with a smile, and then he leans in and kisses Nozawa again.

*****

“Growth spurts suck,” Sanada whines during a break from dance practice, fiddling with the ice pack on his shin. Nozawa grunts but doesn’t answer. He agrees, of course, but he’s busy watching Taiga have to relearn all of his routines with limbs that are twice as long while getting yelled at by the choreographer for unnecessary flail.

“It could be worse,” Nozawa finally says, and when he does turn his head, Sanada is grinning at him and Nozawa can’t help but grin shyly back.

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