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Title<\/b>: Two Million Reasons [Ohno\/Nino]
\nRating\/Warnings<\/b>: PG-13 for Nino’s usual stage activity.
\nSummary<\/b>: Ohno has a system, Aiba and Sho investigate it, Jun steals it, and Nino breaks it by accident.
\nAN<\/b>: Unrelated to Ohno’s sex scandal, because I wrote this on the way home from Ohio and didn’t know about it until much later, but I will take this opportunity to say that if there’s anybody on the planet who does not in any way need pot, it’s Ohno. Some Aderol, perhaps, but not pot. <\/p>\n
Two Million Reasons<\/b><\/p>\n
Somehow in conversation in the waiting room of some studio or other, it comes out that Ohno loves approximately two million things about Nino. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Two million?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba asks, looking up from Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lap, brown eyes curious. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You count them?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not exactly,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno shrugs. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I just have a general sense. Only the important ones have numbers.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n
Across the room, Sho turns to Nino and asks how many things about Ohno he loves. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153One,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino answers, turning a page in his Nintendo Power<\/i>. Ohno goes back to scratching Aiba\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s scalp, and Aiba\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes flutter shut before he can think to investigate further.<\/p>\n
But a few days later, when they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re sitting in a row of studio chairs, waiting for an interview to start, it turns out that Aiba\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been thinking about it still. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like what?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he asks. <\/p>\n
Ohno takes a second to realize that Aiba is talking to him, and then another second to answer, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hmm?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What important ones have numbers?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba wants to know. Jun and Sho have turned to watch them curiously, but neither Aiba nor Ohno seems to notice. On Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s other side, Nino continues to drum his fingers on the arm of the chair.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno looks thoughtful, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153#176 is that Nino doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind talking about us in public.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Everyone turns to look at Nino, but Nino doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have any comment about that. A few seconds later, the studio lights come up, and the hosts spend forty-five minutes wondering why they keeping coming back to the fact that Nino grabs Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ass during performances. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What else?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba asks another few days later. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s actually been happening on and off since the interview, and Ohno doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to mind obliging him. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153#6921 is that Nino reminds me when Sho is on the news so we can watch,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno says. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Really?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sho asks Nino, and Nino shrugs without looking up from his DS, but Sho looks thoroughly pleased anyway. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just making up numbers,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jun accuses, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And then he demands that Ohno prove it when Ohno shakes his head.<\/p>\n
He shuts up, though, when Ohno runs back through all the ones that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s already told Aiba, and the numbers are still the same so far as anybody can remember. <\/p>\n
Aiba remains fascinated with the inner workings of this system. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153How are they numbered?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he wants to know, ignoring the request of the increasingly frustrated stylist that he stop moving please<\/i>. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is it chronological? Or in order of importance?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153They just have numbers,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno answers. It seems to please him to talk about the system, or maybe it just pleases him to keep Aiba so interested. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It just feels<\/i> like #10638 that nobody likes Nino\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s magic tricks half so much as he does.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oi, oi,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino grumbles, the first time that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shown an actual response to any of the statements Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s made so far. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that you like them so much,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno explains, looking a touch flustered for the first time, and that seems to satisfy Nino enough that he goes back to discussing Tekken with Sho, and Ohno goes back to Aiba.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is it by subject matter?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba persists. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like in the library? So all the ones that have to do with Nino and magic are all in the ten-thousands or something?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hmm,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno thinks about this for a few moments. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Maybe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little like that? But I told you only the important ones have numbers.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153But watching Sho on the news has a number?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jun sticks his head in. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a number?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nino puts your magazines in order on the coffee table because you like them better that way,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno responds immediately, and Jun blinks as if suddenly he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s thinking about every time he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ever left Nino alone with his coffee table. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s #47 that he restyles the back of your hair if you fall asleep before a performance and you never know it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ooh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba says with interest, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the lowest number yet! Are low numbers good or bad?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Ohno shrugs. They exchange a glance, both of them thinking too hard to notice that behind them, Sho is just barely holding Jun back far enough to keep him from strangling Nino. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And how specific are they?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba continues during a photoshoot, his questions having weird pauses in the middle where the cameras are actually snapping. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You like Nino in white, right?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153#807271,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno says with a dreamy smile, and there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a burst of cameras snapping like a tiny mechanical thunderstorm. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wow, high!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba marvels, despite the fact that they still have no idea what, if anything, a high or low number denotes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But how about other colors? Purple? Or green?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Liking Nino in other colors are all one thing,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno answers after a moment\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s thought. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But it almost has a number that he looks bad in orange.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You like that I look bad in orange?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino asks, turning his head with a raised eyebrow. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very silly,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he says, but the curve of his mouth says that cute is what it actually is.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I like that you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look good in everything,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno says, then tilts his head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And now it feels like #494813.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re distracted from the conversation by a change in pose after that, but Nino reaches over to swing their joined hands in between them more than once. Eventually Jun tells them to knock it off or a shot of that will make it to the official store, and then Chinen-kun will probably photoshop himself into it and bring it to Shounen Club with him. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Speaking of Shokura,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino says mildly, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Kawai-kun\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been awfully cute lately, hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and Jun tells him to go fuck himself. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba says when the Curiosity Team is having all-you-can-eat yakiniku of questionable origin but unquestionably awesome goodness, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s number one?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Sho laughs. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We should have thought to ask that ages ago! And what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s number two million?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153#1,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno says after swallowing a mouthful of burnt carrot, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153is that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never called me Ohno-kun. And #2000000 is that he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t laugh when I confessed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
A moment of silence follows while they digest that, even Ohno seeming to think about his answers. Then Aiba rings the bell for more meat, and the shop owner looks up at them in horror. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s suddenly, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think I understand. We keep asking questions about one factor at a time, like whether the list is chronological, or by subject, or what. But I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think the list is linear at all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d asks Aiba and Ohno. Sho reaches for a napkin and starts scribbling on it; Aiba and Ohno get distracted by the platter of meat arriving and by arranging pieces of steak on the grill in a smiley face. <\/p>\n
When Sho is done, he holds up his drawing and proudly displays a graph with several points plotted on it. Aiba and Ohno examine it with interest.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think the list is at least two-dimensional,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sho explains, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153because there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s more than one factor. Based on your answers for the limits of the range, I think one factor is how long something\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been going on, and the other is how important it is. Nino calling you Oh-chan is the oldest, and him not laughing at you is the most important.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oooh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba says, looking closer to examine Sho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s labels on the graph. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s amazing!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just a guess,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sho waves him off, but he looks pleased. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153There might be other factors too. But I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like a sliding scale, or like two of them, so that when you drag one lower or higher, the other one moves too. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what makes the numbers so variable.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Complicated!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Aiba plucks one of the eyes off the smiley face and pops it in his mouth, gazing at Ohno with admiration. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re really cool, Captain.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Maa, but I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really get it either,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno murmurs, rubbing the back of his head, but he lets Aiba feed him the other eye. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just like Leader,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sho grins, and Aiba feeds him a couple pieces of the smile while Ohno goes back to burning vegetables. <\/p>\n
Sho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s explanation seems to finally satisfy Aiba\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s curiosity, and for a few days nobody asks Ohno any more about it, aside from Jun stealing the system and modifying it to pick on them. The new system seems to consist of him loudly announcing their rankings in his affections based on constantly variable factors that only Aiba and occasionally Ohno have any success negotiating. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So I hear Sho cracked your system,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino comments while they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in a loose tangle on Nino\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s couch, watching a commercial for a gum that apparently gives you the energy to hack into high-security computer networks. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really smart,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno agrees, and then that makes him think of the first day they started talking about this in the dressing room. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the one thing?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a long pause where Ohno thinks he might have to clarify his question, but then the commercial about the new Gundam game ends, and Nino answers, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Everything.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Ohno squeezes Nino tight enough that Nino protests a little, and shivers from the rush of happiness in his chest, because #23984 is that Nino is only ever romantic by accident and Ohno likes being surprised.<\/p>\n
During the next commercial break, Nino twists around so that he can see Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face and asks, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What number is it that I love you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Ohno gives Nino a slow blink, then laughs. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Seems like it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s number two million and one.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You moron,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino says, rubbing his fingers through the longish pieces of hair on the back of Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You really don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand your own system, do you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yours does seem much simpler,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ohno agrees, pushing into Nino\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s touch. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had mine a long time, and I like it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I guess if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Oh-chan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s system,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nino says with an air of self-sacrifice, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fine.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Ohno kisses him thank you, and then kisses him some more because the way Nino kisses him occupies a whole range of numbers, some very low and some very high, and in the end when they both come up for air, Nino admits that at least Ohno\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s system gives out better prizes than Jun\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.<\/p>\n