\nRating\/Warnings<\/b>: PG-13 for what is the most gloriously disturbing fic premise of all time.
\nSummary<\/b>: Everyone wants Shoon to help them out. Shoon wants to kill whoever started it.
\nAN<\/b>: HOW DID I WRITE THIS?! During a conversation with snowqueenofhoth<\/a> about Lolita complexes, she informed me there was a show called MILF Island, the premise of which was “20 MILFs, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.” <\/p>\n
I claimed that was essentially the premise of the Ya-Ya-yah Show. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.<\/p>\n
Set sometime in 2004 I suppose, before NEWS debuted. <\/p>\n
ETA<\/b>: Chiharu says that I am thinking of Midori-san, not Julie-san. GOOD JOB, SELF. Way to humiliate yourself. FIXED NOW. <\/p>\n
Innocence Lost<\/b><\/p>\n
When Shoon found out who had started the rumor that Midori-san liked to deflower virginal juniors and the best thing to do was to find another junior to \u00e2\u20ac\u02dchelp out,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Shoon was going to strangle that person until they died. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Please<\/i>, Shoon,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Inoo begged, looking ready to drop to his knees at any second, and Shoon wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have cared if he weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sure what Inoo would do when he got there. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tell Yabu, I swear<\/i>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who even told you that?!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon demanded in exasperation. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d already talked down Yuto and Nikaido of all people, and he was sure he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be beating off Yabu and Hikaru with sticks if they hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taken the matter into their own hands last week. <\/p>\n
Each other\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hands. Whatever. Shoon rubbed at his temples, a headache starting to develop. <\/p>\n
Inoo pouted, eyes darting left and right as though Midori-san would pop out from behind a corner at any moment. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I thought we were friends, Shoon!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153We are,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon informed him, teeth gritted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And as a friend, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m telling you that whoever told you that Midori-san is going around deflowering anybody is lying to make you embarrass yourself exactly like this<\/i>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Inoo considered this for a moment, then shook his head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not worth the risk.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Get away from\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 Shoon started to exclaim as Inoo advanced with purpose in his face, but just then the door to the dressing room slammed open, and Shoon spun around in relief at the interruption. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Shoon!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Arioka gasped in relief. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thank goodness! Listen, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m your adorable kouhai and you wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want anything to scar me for life, would you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Talk to Inoo about it!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon advised, and slipped out the door while the other two were occupied sizing each other up. <\/p>\n
Shoon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s suspicion that this was all a prank gone wrong, possibly even a prank on him, by the senpai, was quashed when the senpai start showing up for some of Shoon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s attentions as well. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Come on, Shoonie,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Masuda wheedled, making a face sadder than melted ice cream. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be just like our skit! I can wear the wig if you want.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh GOD,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon exclaimed, covering his eyes. It didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help, since the image was seared on his brain. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Masuda-kun, listen to me, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not true! It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just a rumor, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not true, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not real! It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not even humane!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
When Masuda didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say anything for a second, Shoon lowered his eyes, hoping that Masuda would see reason. Masuda was staring at him with even sadder and more hopeful eyes than before. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Shoonie,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Masuda said, very seriously, “Midori-san likes to hug me. A lot<\/i>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Shoon whimpered, then whimpered louder when Koyama came around the corner with a wide-eyed Tegoshi gathered up in one arm. He lit up in relief when he spotted Shoon.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153There you are!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Koyama smiled warmly and Shoon shrank back. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We definitely have to protect Tegoshi-kun, ne?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Shoon put his horror on hold momentarily while he examined Koyama. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worried about yourself, Koyama-kun?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Eh, well,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Koyama blushed and scratched the back of his head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to worry about Shige-kun either, yo,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Tegoshi chirped, and Shoon narrowed his eyes at the innocent-looking junior, pretty sure that he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exactly need any of Shoon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s attention either. <\/p>\n
Shoon bullied and bluffed his way through a string of progressively more disturbing encounters, the most memorable of which included a costumed KusaYESman and a surprisingly persistent Yamada. <\/p>\n
Shoon finally put his foot down when A.B.C. approached him as a group. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153First of all, I highly doubt any of you actually need<\/i> my help.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon fixed the four of them with an icy glare. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Secondly, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re my senpai! Thirdly, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s four<\/i> of you. I think you could have worked this out yourselves!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Inoo said you were really good at this sort of thing,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Tsuka piped up.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Really<\/i> good,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Kawai leered. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And then Yabu-kun got pretty angry,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Goseki put in.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THIS DRESSING ROOM,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon bellowed, murder in his eyes. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153But\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Hikaru started, exchanging a nervous glance with Taiyou. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153OUT,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon ordered, and everybody went as quickly as they could, Ya-Ya-yah\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s dressing room door slamming shut behind them. <\/p>\n
Shoon slumped in a makeup chair and let his forehead thunk on the makeup counter. Honestly, what was wrong with everyone? Even for their show, this was idiocy of an unprecedented scale, and Shoon wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sure how much more he could take. <\/p>\n
Suddenly the back of Shoon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s neck prickled, and he got the feeling that he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t alone. When he lifted his head, he caught sight of Midori-san’s reflection in the mirror and shrieked. <\/p>\n
“Midori-san!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon leapt to his feet and whirled around, taking deep breaths and trying to calm his racing heart. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You scared me!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Seems some interesting rumors are going around, ne, Shoon-kun?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Midori-san asked. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You can say that again,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shoon exclaimed, glad to finally have somebody to sympathize with. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I keep telling people they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re ridiculous, but nobody will listen! Maa, I wonder who even started these rumors.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Midori-san smiled and began stepping closer, and Shoon began feeling very, very nervous. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you guessed?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she asked, her smile getting even wider and friendlier. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I did, Shoon-kun.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
When Midori-san’s hand closed on Shoon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shoulder, he put all his vocal instruction to the test. <\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Koyama looked up, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153did you just hear something? It sounded like someone screaming in unimaginable anguish.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You always say that when you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to bottom,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shige answered crankily, and then he shoved Koyama back up against the shelves with the tambourines. <\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ow!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Yamada complained. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You stepped on my foot!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Then get out!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Shige snapped. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is a closet, not a Dome concert!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It is a little crowded in here,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Tottsu commented, and the rest of A.B.C. agreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Maybe we should find someplace less occupied.” <\/p>\n
In the dark, Tegoshi smiled, then reached behind him and turned the lock on the door.<\/p>\n
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