Chaotic Butterfly, Stuck in Fanservice Mode

Title: Stuck in Fanservice Mode [Goto/5*STAR]
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for member-ai.
Summary: Goto is getting a little concerned that the message boards are right about him after all.
AN: Well, I finally managed some decent 5*STAR porn, but you know, it was kind of painful. I wonder if I spent so long trying NOT to write pairings that I broke myself permanently, lol.

Stuck in Fanservice Mode

At first, Goto just blames the pull he feels towards Adachi on tension and too much time in each other’s personal space, on being stuck in fanservice mode and on the fact that during that first winter they keep putting Adachi in this soft, soft, gray sweater coat that makes his eyes darker than chocolate and constantly slips off his shoulders.

Never mind that the feeling remains long after they are as settled as trainees can be in ME, long after the sweater coat’s been changed out for their next batch of costumes. Goto also tries to ignore the way he wakes up hard four mornings out of five, telling himself that it’s only natural since five out of five mornings he wakes up with some part of his body tangled up with some of Adachi’s, and two out of five mornings, Adachi’s hands are drifting dangerously near the drawstring of Goto’s pajama pants.

“I hope you don’t sleep naked in the summer,” Goto grumbles one such morning, confident that Adachi is dead to the world, as he rolls over in Adachi’s grip and snuggles back into his pillow for whatever few minutes he has left to sleep before Sakurai comes to get them. “Because then I’ll probably wake up already having sex with you.”

Later, Goto will think that maybe it’s a bad sign that he can say things like that out loud without even blinking, but in the moment it doesn’t seem very strange at all when Adachi resettles against his back and mumbles, “Pass me the melon-scented one,” into his shoulder blade.

Goto has almost gotten acclimated to burst of heat he feels in his chest when Adachi blinks at him sleepily each morning, when he realizes that he feels the same burst of heat every time he and Rin argue. They’re standing in the hallway outside the bathroom, shouting at each other at the top of their lungs, when Goto notices it the first time. The feeling is sharper, more violent, but definitely heat, and it flares when Adachi yells from his room that they could both get a shower at the same time and solve everybody’s problem.

“You take it,” Rin snaps, expression pinched all of the sudden, and he shoulders past Goto on the way to his room and slams the door.

In the shower two minutes later, Goto leans against the wall under the hot water with his hand on his cock and really, really hopes that Rin isn’t doing exactly the same thing in his room. As soon as he thinks it, Goto’s muscles tighten and he comes hard, and for the next two days Goto can’t look Rin in the eye, only shaking it off when Rin teeters on the edge of breaking their rule about him not making anybody in their own unit cry.

It’s just because he hasn’t slept with anybody in months, Goto tells himself when he’s staring at the ceiling that night, Adachi snuffling quietly in his sleep beside him. They’ve been too busy for him to think about girls, other than the kind that shriek at them during filmings, and now that Goto thinks about it, it’s been kind of an embarrassing length of time since he’s gotten laid. He vows that next time Aoki-senpai takes them out, he’ll definitely find some random girl and get it all out of his system, and then everything will be fine.

But the next time they’re out at the clubs, Rin’s birthday making him old enough to come out along with him and Adachi by now, none of the girls seem terribly appealing. Some are too silly, some are too drunk, some have a terrifying amount of hair or makeup or both.

“They’re pretty normal, actually?” Kurosagi chuckles when Goto asks him if he doesn’t think the girls in this club are rather sub-par. “Ah, but I don’t look at them much anyway.”

Aoki pops up and tugs Kurosagi out to dance at that moment, and Goto thinks sourly that it’s no wonder he’s being turned into a shameless fairy at this rate and orders himself another Tokyo Sunrise.

When he wakes up the next morning, Goto is tangled up not just with Adachi but also with Rin. He’s too trapped to move, but his flail does wake up Adachi.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Adachi grunts, letting his head flop back down. “Morning, Hika-chan.”

“What did I do?” Goto demands in horror, and then adds, “And when did you start calling me that?!”

“You told me to, last night.” Adachi’s lazy, sated grin fills Goto with even more terror than the dull ache in the backs of his thighs. “And a better question might be, what didn’t you do.”

Goto thinks as hard as he can, but can only come up with the sensation of his cock being surrounded by wet heat and has no idea who or even which end that might have involved. He whimpers.

“Just go back to sleep,” Adachi advises around a yawn, tugging Goto back down flat on his back and curling up against his side, using Goto’s shoulder as a pillow. “We’ll do it again sober so you remember all the details this time, promise.”

It can’t be normal, Goto thinks to himself even as he obeys. To want one bandmate maybe, but two definitely not. And yet Sakurai doesn’t look shocked at all when he shows up to shake them awake the next morning, merely commenting that Goto’s going to get hell from the makeup girl for that bite mark.

“What bite mark?!” Goto demands, sitting up suddenly enough to send Adachi rolling off the bed with a crash, and from behind him he hears Rin laughing, which might be the scariest part of all.

But the mystery of human nature is that a person can get used to just about anything through exposure, and by late spring Goto has stopped worrying about how often he wakes up already tangled with Adachi now that he’s stopped wearing clothes to bed, and whether or not Rin will show up halfway through or maybe be there when it starts. He doesn’t worry about shoving Rin behind the occasional costume rack or stripping Adachi of any sweater coats he happens to be wearing fast enough to make both of their hair stand on end from static and shock them when their lips meet. He’s even stopped worrying about how normal it all feels.

Which is about the time that he realizes he’s got a familiar feeling humming in his chest when Tsukioka curls up on his lap to watch the late night replay of their interview that day. It’s yet again different, although certainly recognizable, what he feels for Tsukioka a sort of tingly, shifting wave though his limbs, and the sparkle of it intensifies when he watches the way Tsukioka’s lashes flutter against his cheek when he blinks, how his mouth parts a little when he gives a soft, contented sigh.

Goto freezes, realizes he’s been petting Tsukioka’s hair without noticing it and also that there is a whole lot of unused couch beside them. Tsukioka shifts minutely, and Goto barely suppresses a groan as he feels himself start to harden.

This is ridiculous, he silently fumes at his body. You can’t like everybody! You’re already having enough sex to kill a person of weak constitution! Stop it right this instant!

Goto’s body, of course, doesn’t listen to him, and he ends up trying to move into a position where Tsukioka at least won’t notice and Goto won’t be humiliated and have to be transferred to the Nagoya branch of ME where there at least won’t be anybody else for Goto to lust after.

“Quit moving,” Tsukioka orders suddenly. “You’re all fidgety!” He puts his hands on Goto’s shoulders to hold him still, then resettles himself squarely in Goto’s lap. Goto tightens his fingers in the fabric of the couch, wincing because there’s no way Tsukioka can possibly miss what he’s sitting on now, or the fact that Goto just got a lot harder.

“Ryu-chan,” Goto sighs in defeat, putting his hands on Tsukioka’s waist to push him off gently. “I think you’d better…”

“Is that all this is about?” Tsukioka wants to know, rolling his eyes and moving exactly nowhere. “Ne, you should have just said something, Leader.”

“I should have…” Goto blinks. “What?”

Tsukioka wriggles around until he’s straddling Goto’s lap and rocks down against him, so that Goto can feel Tsukioka’s interest rub along his own. “It’s been six months and you haven’t noticed? What did you think I was sitting in your lap all that time for? You’re a little slow, ne.”

“But…Sakkun…” Goto has to shake himself a little before he can think and has to tighten his hands on Tsukioka’s hips to force him to hold still before he can get a full thought out. “It isn’t that I’m not interested, Ryu, but I’m already…you know, with Adachi and…” Goto has to swallow a little before he can get it all out, the first time he’s said it out loud, “and Rin. And I don’t want…I’m happy. With things this way, I’m happy.”

Goto realizes he’s beaming stupidly at Tsukioka. He is happy, even if it’s weird, even if he loves more people than he’s supposed to of the wrong gender, and he just didn’t quite realize it until he heard himself say it out loud.

After a moment of regarding Goto silently, Tsukioka says, “Sometimes you’re so cute I could eat you, ne.” While Goto is processing that, Tsukioka leans around Goto and yells, “YUUICHI! COME HERE!” down the hall.

“Um,” Goto says, because Tsukioka is very much still on his lap, and Goto’s been sharing a wall with Tsukioka and Sakurai long enough to know that he doesn’t really want Sakurai to come out here and find his boyfriend grinding against Goto’s lap.

“I guess it can’t be helped you didn’t grow up in ME and you don’t understand anything,” Tsukioka says sympathetically, “but don’t worry, we’ll show you.”

“What?” Sakurai asks when he pads out into the living room, layers held out of his face by two very silly-looking barrettes and a pair of thick glasses on his nose. Goto has to tilt his head back against the couch to see him.

“Leader doesn’t think we should do it because he’s already doing it with Adachi and Rin,” Tsukioka reports, making Goto give a sharp, “Hey!”

“This is what you interrupted me for?” Sakurai asks, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms. “Seriously? I’m busy, you know.”

Goto feels the sharp point of Tsukioka’s chin digging into his shoulder. “Yuuichi’s pretty hot in his glasses, right?”

And there it is, yet more heat firing through Goto’s veins, this one centered low and steady, right around his center of gravity.

“The fangirls are right about me,” Goto says, defeated, feeling like a terrible, greedy person.

“What are you so upset for?” Tsukioka wants to know, breath warm against Goto’s cheek. “You’re supposed to feel like that. We’re your unit, aren’t we?”

Goto frowns. “I don’t understand.”

“I know,” Tsukioka sighs, wriggling some more. “Yuuichi, tell him, I can’t explain anything right.”

Sakurai heaves a sigh and pulls off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Hikaru, what do you think normally happens when you put a group of full-grown men together in a high pressure situation and then tell them to touch a lot? Most units turn out being a little too close, really, if you get my meaning.”

“Or sometimes they really hate each other instead,” Tsukioka added, his grip around Goto’s neck tightening. “But I’m glad we aren’t one of those units.”

Sakurai nods and reaches down to stroke a hand through Goto’s hair, and Goto barely stops himself from pushing up into the touch. “If you don’t want to, it’s okay. But if you want to, and all that’s stopping you is that you think you should feel weird or bad about it…I say who cares, personally. 5*STAR is us and nobody else, and if we say it’s fine, then it’s fine.”

“What about Adachi?” Goto asks, thinking guiltily of brown eyes dark with sleep blinking at him early in the morning. “And Rin?”

There’s another long moment of silence.

“When we say we’ve tried everything to fix Rin’s dancing…” Sakurai starts.

“He’s really really slow,” Tsukioka sighs, long-suffering. “You’re the last one, Leader, you know?”

“Why don’t you go sniff some hair dye,” Goto retorts grouchily, arousal now snuffed by embarrassment. “Oh, get off and go make out with Sakkun or something.”

“You should take your own advice,” Sakurai advises, “only maybe in reverse order,” and before Goto can work all that out, Sakurai is leaning over to press his mouth against Goto’s.

It’s a little sideways, the angle too awkward for them to slot their mouths together properly, but the kiss is still firm and steady, like Sakurai himself, and Goto reaches up with one hand to fist in Sakurai’s shirt and pull him closer, until Sakurai has to brace his hands on the back of the couch to keep himself from tumbling over it.

They break apart when Tsukioka gives a soft, breathy moan, and when Goto turns his head, he sees Tsukioka watching them, his eyes wide and dark. He’s barely taken a half a breath before Tsukioka falls on him for his own kiss, Tsukioka’s tongue darting out to lick along Goto’s lower lip like he’s chasing the taste of Sakurai in Goto’s mouth.

When Tsukioka leans back, eyes hooded and pleased, Goto’s arousal is back, cock almost painfully hard under Tsukioka’s slight weight.

“This can’t be normal,” he says faintly, and Sakurai laughs, full-throated.

“I didn’t say it was normal,” he says, and this time when he strokes a hand through Goto’s hair, Goto doesn’t bother to stop his push against Sakurai’s touch. “I said it was okay. Nobody in ME is normal.”

Goto sighs, just letting all of it wash through him and finding that he doesn’t mind the taste of it terribly much. “Can we not do it here, though? I’d rather not break in the couch.”

“It’s already…” Tsukioka begins, but Sakurai cuts him off with a careless yank of Tsukioka’s hair.

“I think Leader’s had more than enough revelations for today,” he says, reaching for Tsukioka’s hand and tugging him so that Tsukioka hops up from Goto’s lap. “Bedroom?”

“Ne, come to bed with us,” Tsukioka coaxes, voice sweet, and Goto shivers as Tsukioka takes his hands and tugs him up and along with them.

In Tsukioka and Sakurai’s room, Goto still feels awkward, not because he’s uncomfortable with the idea, so much as that he feels like he’s intruding on something intimate. Sakurai and Tsukioka, on the other hand, don’t appear worried about it; they seem to have some practice fitting other people in between them.

“I’m sure,” Sakurai assures when Goto looks to him with worried eyes, pushing in the same direction that Tsukioka is pulling, until Goto is on top of Tsukioka, his weight pressing Tsukioka into the mattress. “If you had any idea the sort of thing he’s been dirty-talking me with about you for the last six months…”

Tsukioka makes a deeply pleased noise and lets Goto settle in between his thighs as Goto splutters a, “What?”

“Leader kink,” Tsukioka shrugs, then rocks up against Goto with a sweet moan, and Goto forgets how to breathe. “Hurry up, I want you.”

“Don’t let him rush you,” Sakurai advises, ignoring Tsukioka’s impatient whine, then leans over both of them to pull open their bedside table and pull out a tube and a strip of foil. “Anybody teach you this part yet?”

“Sort of,” Goto answers, struggling to hold a conversation while Tsukioka moves against him more seriously. “Adachi likes to, um, do it himself.”

“Of course he does,” Sakurai laughs, then pushes Goto until he rolls onto his side and hands him the tube. “Here, I’ll keep this one busy while you do the honors.”

“You can try,” Tsukioka says darkly, but Sakurai does more than that as he pins Tsukioka’s shoulders down with both hands and leans down to kiss him senseless.

Seeing Adachi doing it to himself is one thing, but being inside Tsukioka is another altogether, and Goto makes an embarrassing noise at the heat and the squeeze of Tsukioka around his finger. He works the second in slowly, pushing down on the soft skin of Tsukioka’s belly with his free hand when Tsukioka starts to squirm too much.

“Please?” Tsukioka shoves Sakurai back just far enough to beg prettily, pushing down against Goto’s hand. His skin is flushed, his mouth parted and slick, and the sight of him makes Goto’s breath catch. “Leader, please, I really want you.”

And it’s a good thing, Goto thinks dimly with the handful of brain cells not occupied by the heat of Tsukioka tight around him, that he’s been practicing this with Adachi and Rin the last few months, because practice is the only thing keeping him from embarrassing himself immediately as he pushes inside Tsukioka, until he’s as deep as he can go.

Sakurai settles in against Tsukioka’s side, watching Goto out of the corner of his eye as he kisses a lazy trail down Tsukioka’s neck. Goto’s first tentative thrust stutters when Sakurai slides a hand down Tsukioka’s stomach to palm his cock, making Tsukioka push up against both of them.

“Don’t stop, idiot,” Tsukioka pants, thumping Goto in the back of the thigh with his heel, and Goto growls as he braces himself with both hands and pulls out far enough to slam back into Tsukioka. “Aah! Yuuichi, you’re gonna leave a mark again.”

It’s hard to tell whether Tsukioka is warning Sakurai or pleased about it, not that Goto can concentrate on figuring it out as Tsukioka wraps legs around his waist to force him closer and deeper. He rocks against Goto, back arching and using muscles that Goto didn’t even know existed until he’d joined ME.

“It’s not normal that you can move like that,” Goto growls, dropping to his elbows to mouth at Tsukioka’s collarbone. He can feel Sakurai’s hand moving against his stomach and every so often the wet tip of Tsukioka’s cock brushes his skin as well.

Tsukioka laughs breathily and tips his head back against the pillow. “I’m not lead dancer…ahh…for nothing, Leader.”

“Ryu,” Goto squeezes his eyes shut and tries to gasp out a warning, “I can’t…”

“Wait,” Tsukioka answers, curling arms tighter around Goto’s neck, “I’m almost there.” The motion of Sakurai’s hand shifts, and Tsukioka cries out.

“Do it,” Sakurai orders, the heat of his mouth hovering over Goto’s ear, and Goto feels Tsukioka tighten around him just before he crashes into orgasm himself.

Goto feels himself being moved before he can really sort out his senses yet, and when he opens his eyes, he’s been rolled in between Tsukioka and Sakurai. Tsukioka is cuddled against his side, and Sakurai is leaning over him to kiss Tsukioka deeply, a hand fisted in his hair to hold him steady. Goto whimpers at the wet slide of their tongues, and then again when he realizes that Sakurai’s cock is digging into his hip.

“Hey,” Goto shifts a little, enough to work a hand between them and cautiously brush fingers over Sakurai’s cock. Sakurai breaks his kiss with Tsukioka and hums a little as he turns to meet Goto’s eyes. “Um, what about…”

“It’s all yours if you want it,” Sakurai replies, meaning purposely vague, and Goto’s heart rate speeds up. For now, he settles for curling his hand tight around Sakurai’s length. He gives a test stroke, and Sakurai flexes his hips into the touch with another hum of appreciation. Sakurai is hot and thick in his hand, and Goto feels a spark of electricity zip through his veins. He makes a soft noise himself and turns more fully towards Sakurai.

He’s hardly shocked when Sakurai lets go of Tsukioka to palm the back of Goto’s head instead, then presses their mouths together. Sakurai’s kiss is deep and slow, like the roll of his hips into Goto’s hand, and Goto thinks that it’s no wonder he’s walked in on Tsukioka and Sakurai making out so often, if this is the way Sakurai does it.

There’s a rustle of motion on Goto’s other side, but Goto doesn’t pay Tsukioka any mind until his slight weight eases over Goto’s legs, and then the angle of Sakurai’s kiss changes slightly. Goto finally breaks the kiss to look up when Sakurai gives a sudden gasp and bites down on Goto’s lower lip, hard enough to sting.

When Goto glances down, he can hardly blame Sakurai; Tsukioka’s nestled comfortably in between Sakurai’s thighs, his mouth two-thirds of the way down Sakurai’s cock. Tsukioka is watching them while he does it, brown eyes big and dark with interest, and Goto shifts uncomfortably as his body responds to the sight far earlier than it ought to.

As Goto watches, Tsukioka lowers his head until his lips brush the top of Goto’s fist. Goto squeezes his hand tight as he shivers, and Sakurai moans. Sakurai tightens his grip on Goto’s hair and yanks Goto’s head back for another fierce kiss. Goto struggles to kiss back and stroke Sakurai off at the same time, until Tsukioka’s slender fingers curl tight around his and force his rhythm steady again.

He can feel Sakurai shiver against him, kind of wants to watch it too, but Sakurai’s grip is too tight, and Goto has to admit that feeling Sakurai fall apart has its own charms. Sakurai finally tears his mouth away from Goto to bury his face in the curve of Goto’s neck, arms tight around Goto’s back as he shudders.

Goto grunts in annoyance when Tsukioka sits up and pushes at their shoulders until they roll apart enough for him to wriggle in between them. But it’s hard for Goto to stay irritated with pleasure still coursing through Goto’s veins, and the taste of Sakurai still on his lips, and Goto lets Tsukioka wriggle close until his ass is tucked tight against Goto’s crotch while he leans up to get his own taste of Sakurai.

“So,” Sakurai says a little later, when Tsukioka is out cold in between them, Sakurai’s voice pitched low to not wake him. “The thing you just did with Ryu?”

“Uh-huh?” Goto asks, gaze flicking up from where his fingers are stroking through Tsukioka’s hair to see if Sakurai is really jealous after all.

But Sakurai just looks relaxed, his arm curled around Tsukioka’s waist, mouth neutral but eyes showing a spark of curiosity. “You’ll tell me when I can do that you, right?”


When Goto eventually creeps back into his own room, Adachi is asleep, curled loosely on his side with his own laptop in front of him. Goto picks the laptop up with a click of his tongue, then winces at the heat of the case from sitting down in the blankets. He rolls his eyes a little at the message boards on the screen before shutting the lid and setting it aside, just under the bed so neither of them will step on it in the morning.

Adachi stirs when Goto slides under the blankets, pulls at him with a lazy hand until he can curl along Goto’s back. Goto hisses at the heat of Adachi’s body sinking into his skin.

“Mm,” Adachi murmurs, nose buried in the hair on the back of Goto’s neck. “You smell like Tsuki-chin.”

“Guess it’s a stupid question to ask how you would know that,” Goto says, and Adachi chuckles, arm tightening around Goto’s waist. “Ne, Rei-chan?”

“Yeah?” Adachi’s is clearly already falling back asleep. Goto rolls over suddenly and kisses him, quick, just enough to wake him back up and make sure he’s listening.

“You know how you like to, um,” Goto stumbles over the words as Adachi blinks at him, low-lidded and curious, “yourself?”

“Yeah?” Adachi asks, nudging his hips a little closer to Goto’s.

“I want you to teach me,” Goto says in a rush before he loses his nerve, but he forgets all about his nerves when Adachi answers, “Fuck, yes,” and then crushes their mouths together.

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