DBSK, Completely and Utterly

Title: Completely and Utterly [Yunho/Jaejoong]
Rating/Warnings: R for one-handed typing
Summary: Jaejoong is stuck and Yunho claims to have the solution.
AN: I think i’ve really had enough of writing the chat conversations now. For swtjemz because she made me.

Illustrated by Shigai here, but you’ll want to read the story first, or the ending will get spoiled.

Completely and Utterly

Jaejoong drummed his fingers on his laptop. He’d been staring at the same sentence on his screen for the last half-hour, and finally he’d been forced to conclude the obvious.

His porn was completely and utterly stuck.

It just didn’t make any sense, he grumbled to himself, that something that was so hot in his head was so hard to write. When he closed his eyes, he could see exactly how it was supposed to go (which he’d done more than a few times in the last half-hour), but when he tried to make it work in text, everything got all jumbled, and there were too many hands, and he couldn’t keep straight who had taken off which clothes, and Yunho had strictly forbidden him to use the word ‘sexily’ anymore.

He sighed. Maybe International_Huge just wasn’t destined to be an NC-17 threesome writer.

He was about to close the laptop and slink off to bed, when a chat window popped up on his screen with a cheerful deedley-doot!

U_Know_Who: so
U_Know_Who: what’s up
U_Know_Who: ?
International_Huge: nothing. my porn is stuck
U_Know_Who: I have the cure for that
U_Know_Who: wanna cyber?
International_Huge: yoochun get off yunho’s computer
U_Know_Who: no, it’s really me
International_Huge: prove it
U_Know_Who: you nicknamed your dick ‘the choosey lover’
International_Huge: that’s fanon you twit
U_Know_Who: it is not
International_Huge: alskdjfalsk YOU WROTE IT
U_Know_Who: shut up I did not
International_Huge: http://www.RisingYun.jp/fanfiction/nothingcomesclose.htm
U_Know_Who: …
U_Know_Who: I’ll be damned
International_Huge: guess that answers that question, moron
U_Know_Who: but you didn’t answer mine

Jaejoong gave a little sigh and shifted on the couch. Originally sitting normally, he’d since slouched into a curl against the cushions, the laptop balanced at an odd angle against his thighs.

International_Huge: well since I’m stuck anyway I guess so
U_Know_Who: *rolls eyes* oh baby I want you so bad too
International_Huge: you’re one to talk
International_Huge: I bet you just read some new fic that got you all hot
International_Huge: and now you want some assistance
U_Know_Who: that isn’t what happened at all
International_Huge: it wasn’t porn? Or it wasn’t new?
U_Know_Who: …
U_Know_Who: look I was rereading my own stuff, okay?
U_Know_Who: just tell me where your hand is already

Jaejoong laughed out loud and sat up against the cushions to adjust his laptop. Very little was sexier than a flustered Yunho, which meant that this was probably going to go downhill very quickly, and it would be better if the heat of his laptop’s hard drive wasn’t right on top of anything delicate.

International_Huge: already wrapped around my cock, because you’re whiny and inefficient
U_Know_Who: damn hang on a second you whore
U_Know_Who: okay, me too
International_Huge: around mine? Or yours?
U_Know_Who: quit acting like you’ve never done this before
International_Huge: this isn’t very hot cybersex. Are you sure this isn’t yoochun?
U_Know_Who: you are typing way too fast for your hand to actually be inside your pants

Caught, Jaejoong gave another chuckle and obligingly shifted the laptop to one side, steadying it against the back of the couch and getting his left hand into his sweatpants. It did feel good, since he was still half-hard from the daydream that had been distracting him from his writing.

International_Huge: okay ready now for real
U_Know_Who: how hard are you?
International_Huge: about halfway
U_Know_Who: keep it slow for me
U_Know_Who: what were you writing
International_Huge: mm, remember we were talking about changmin the other day

Jaejoong’s lips curled at the memory, how an idle conversation in the middle of the night about their latest photoshoot had turned to how hot Changmin looked sandwiched between them, and how much hotter he would look with his eyes glazed and his lips swollen. Aside from being immediately inspiring (“GodDAMN,” Junsu had whined the next morning, “don’t you two ever sleep?!”), it had also been the basis for the fic Jaejoong was failing so miserably to finish.

International_Huge: so I’m stuck at the part where I’ve got you with your hands on the headboard
International_Huge: and ive got two fingers inside you
International_Huge: and he’s sucking you off
U_Know_Who: fuck, speed up a little baby
U_Know_Who: is your tip wet yet? Mine is
International_Huge: drag your thumb through it
U_Know_Who: doesn’t taste as good as you

Groaning, Jaejoong let his eyes flutter shut for a second, his own cock starting to leak at the thought of Yunho licking his thumb clean. When he pried his eyes back open, Yunho had sent several suggestions for how he might get his porn scene unstuck, and Jaejoong had to squeeze his cock tightly for a second before he could type something in reply.

International_Huge: Changmin isn’t in any way flexible enough for that
U_Know_Who: but its hot and its fic so who cares
International_Huge: your turn, what were you reading
U_Know_Who: the one about the mirror
U_Know_Who: im pretty close baby
International_Huge: mm me too
International_Huge: you know I jerk off to that fic sometimes
U_Know_Who: oh god what
International_Huge: the part where youre watching over my shoulder while you jerk me off
U_Know_Who: fuck jaejoong
International_Huge: and then you bite down on my tattoo

There was a pause in Yunho’s messages, which Jaejoong took to mean it was completely okay for him to let his head fall back against the arm of the couch and start stroking himself fast and hard, thinking about Yunho’s fingers wrapped around his cock, and his teeth marking Jaejoong’s neck, and then he took one more shuddering breath and bit his lip to keep as quiet as he could while he came, toes scraping against the rough material of the couch.

He was still sort of dazed, hand wrapped stickily around his cock, when the living rooms lights flipped on suddenly, and he whined at the sudden assault of light against his eyes.

After a few blinks, Jaejoong made out the blurry figure of Changmin standing in the doorway to the kitchen, one hand holding a glass of milk and the other still on the light switch.

“Oh, you two have to be kidding,” he said, and Jaejoong sheepishly pulled his hand free of his sweatpants, then looked over the top of his laptop at an equally sheepish Yunho, who was curled in the chair across the coffee table with his own laptop. Yunho was still frozen, index finger in his mouth; two of the other three were still streaked with white.

“So, Changmin,” Jaejoong said, casually wiping his hand off on his pants and sparing half a glance at the deedley-doot noise from his computer and the new message that read this is all your fault, “Yunho and I were having a debate about whether you might be flexible enough for certain things. Interested in some research?”

U_Know_Who: fuck that’s so unfair I hate you

“I don’t need my computer to play, right?” Changmin asked, eyeing Yunho suspiciously, and Jaejoong murmured soothingly that of course he didn’t but maybe he should put down the glass and turn off the lights like a good little brother.

And in the end, Jaejoong’s porn got unstuck, Changmin was indeed flexible enough, and Yunho was assured that he would never live the entire incident down.

U_Know_Who: maybe if some jackass hadn’t posted the log on their lj
International_Huge: art imitates life, darling
International_Huge: so
International_Huge: what’s up
International_Huge: ?

PEE ESS: you should really go back and click that link now, ESPECIALLY if you clicked it before, because there is a new surprise ^_^

1 person likes this post.


  • By sinying, 2010.02.21 @ 6:42 am

    i can’t see the link 🙁 appearantly im not authorised.

  • By Mousapelli, 2010.02.21 @ 7:54 am

    It’s true, Shigai has her art comm member-locked because a lot of her art is R or NC-17. You could always join the comm, her art is worth it.

    But otherwise I hope you enjoyed the story.

  • By Bexy31, 2010.12.18 @ 10:43 pm

    Oh my God that was so awesome XDD I love how they were sitting across from each other the whole time, ha ha. And yay Changmin being flexible enough! ^¬^
    Thank you for writing/sharing 😀

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