Kis-My-Ft2, Kis-My-Host Club

Title: Kis-My-Host Club
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: Yokoo as Manager has his work cut out for him.
AN: Written for the 2011 Halloween JE100 drabble exchange, for mm_seeker who wanted Kisumai host club, based on that Weekly TV photoshoot.

Kis-My-Host Club

The afternoon staff meeting began with Yokoo eyeing all of them reprovingly. “I think we all know why we’re here. What do you have to say for yourselves?”

“Aw, Watta-mama,” Senga started, making his eyes big, but Yokoo knew better than to get fooled by the same thing the club’s customers fell for.

“Let’s start with you two, shall we?” Yokoo crossed his arms; Senga and Nikaido sitting beside him squirmed. “Because when I agreed to let you work as a pair, wasn’t the way you pitched it to me that the customers would be getting twice the attention?”

“Well yeah,” Senga squirmed more, “but…”

“So why do I have a string of regulars complaining that the two of you hardly so much as look at them rather than each other?”

“Not my fault Kenpi is prettier than all of them,” Nikaido grumbled. Senga beamed and snuggled more closely against his side; Yokoo gritted his teeth.

“And don’t think you two are any better,” Yokoo rounded on Miyata and Tamamori. Tamamori was snickering at Nikaido and Senga being lectured, but Miyata at least had the grace to look embarrassed. “When you two aren’t playing footsies under the table, Tamamori is talking to the parfaits and Miyata is putting clients to sleep talking about last night’s anime rerun!”

“At least we aren’t as bad as them,” Tamamori pouts, thumbing at their two remaining hosts.

“Yes, let’s do talk about them,” Yokoo switched his glare to Kitayama and Fujigaya. Kitayama gave an ostentatious yawn and Fujigaya just gave him the side-eye. “Want to tell me what that spectacle in the middle of the dining room last night was all about?”

“He said he was the club’s #1,” Fujigaya sniffed. “Obviously that’s complete bullshit.”

“Your hair is complete bullshit,” Kitayama answered easily, and then Fujigaya called him a cranky dwarf, and Yokoo had to interrupt before a fight broke out in the club for the second time in 24 hours.

“All right, all right,” Yokoo snapped. “I take back what I said about not showing enough energy to the clients, Kitayama you can nap in all the laps you want. Fujigaya, maybe if you spent your energy on being #1 instead of on arguing about who IS #1, then it might be you!”

That gave Fujigaya pause. “You mean it isn’t me?” Yokoo just glared harder. “Then who is it?!”

“Obviously,” Yokoo informed all of them, “you need to be shown how it’s done properly!”

That night every jaw in the club was dangling, the six current hosts included, when famous #1 Yokoo Wataru strolled down the main staircase and out of retirement.

3 people like this post.

1 Comment

  • By jtriskell, 2012.08.05 @ 4:31 am

    LOL this is awesome. Yokoo! 🙂

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