JE, Doumo, Mac Desu

Title: Doumo, Mac Desu [Yamapi/Jin]
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for what goes on in NewS’s dressing room.
Summary: Jin gets a Macbook, and Yamapi gets a headache.
AN: For acchikocchi, who brainstormed the original idea with me, and bloodybrilliant, who showed me the caps of Ryo with his Macbook. Pin so totally needs to do Mac vs PC ads.

Doumo, Mac Desu

It was a fateful day, to be sure. Yamapi had felt a vague sense of foreboding all day long.

“I told you not to eat that onigiri you found in the bottom of your bag,” Ryo said, fixing the spike of his hair in the mirror until it matched the spike of the feathers glued to his shoulder.

“It’s not indigestion!” Yamapi insisted. “It’s foreboding! Something is definitely wrong!”

“It’s probably not that bad,” Koyama tried to assure, somehow managing to look earnest despite the fact that he was dressed in electric green leather. “Maybe you just forgot something simple. Did you lock your door on the way out? Leave on the coffee maker?”

“No, that’s different,” Yamapi said, bringing his hands up to his chest and feeling himself as if probing for injury. “This feels like…hmm, it’s not lost keys…” Koyama and Ryo exchange a glance as ‘lost keys’ seemed to be exactly the same as ‘squeezed pecs.’ “…it isn’t Pin getting lost…”

“What about ‘we’re about to get fired if we don’t get on the set?'” Shige asked, coming in with Tegoshi and Masuda and reaching over to tweak Yamapi’s nipple. “Does it feel like that?”

“Quit it! You should show Leader respect!” Yamapi yelped, slapping him away, then whining when Masuda got into it too, never one to miss a good game of ‘Pinch Cute Bits of Leader.’

Tegoshi stepped forward suddenly, and Shige and Masuda stepped back, having learned that usually nothing pleasant came of getting in Tegoshi’s way, especially where Yamapi was involved. Tegoshi looked Yamapi up and down thoroughly, then met Yamapi’s eyes, the intensity of his gaze only magnified by the amount of eyeliner ringing his dark brown eyes.

“Ne,” he said, and took one of Yamapi’s hands between his own, then pressed it against Yamapi’s heart. “Feels like the problem is here, doesn’t it?”

Yamapi looked down to see that his hand had curled into half a heart shape.

“Oh shit,” he groaned. “Jin’s up to something.”


He stood in the hallway in front of the door for a minute before he turned the key, taking a calming breath and reminding himself that whatever trouble Jin managed, they always worked it out together. Even that time Jin had thought getting the hamster a girlfriend was a great idea.

Even that time that Jin had planned a surprise joint-band sleepover and appointed himself the bartender.

“It can’t be worse than that,” Yamapi said hopefully. “Nothing could be.”

He pushed the door open and stuck just his head in before calling that he was home and sniffing the air cautiously. It didn’t smell like smoke or hamsters or drunken bandmates, but Yamapi still felt the foreboding.

“Welcome back!” Jin hollered, voice happy and distracted, and Yamapi’s foreboding increased sharply as he kicked off his shoes.

He hurried around the corner, stripping off his jacket in case he had to throw it over a small fire or use it to fight bulls, then stopped short when he only found Jin grinning hugely at him from the couch, bare feet swinging and a brand-new, black Macbook sitting in his lap.

“Meet Angelina-chan!” Jin introduced, looking just about ready to hug the computer tightly. “Please take care of her~!”

“An…gelina…chan?” Yamapi asked weakly, torn between relief that he didn’t have to bullfight or firefight or anything, and puzzlement that the twinge in his chest wasn’t going away.

“Mmhmm!” Jin hummed happily, stroking his fingers along the top of the laptop’s case. “She’s sexy, ne, ne?”

“What did you get a new computer for?” Yamapi took another few steps closer, eyeing the spot beside Jin on the couch but unsure how close he wanted to get. “And how do you know it’s a she?”

“Because she’s sexy, I just said.” Jin rolled his eyes as if Yamapi were the moron in their relationship. “And you know how I feel about guys and sexy.”

“Saying it twenty times during a magazine interview doesn’t make it true,” Yamapi responded with his own eyeroll. He decided that sitting down was safe enough, and also his feet hurt.

He flopped down on the couch beside Jin, and Jin pulled his attention away from Angelina-chan long enough to give Yamapi’s cheek a noisy kiss, making Yamapi chuckle and shove Jin’s shoulder with his own.

“What made you get a Mac?” Yamapi wanted to know. “Were all the real computers too smart for you?”

“Angelina-chan’s a real computer!” Jin exclaimed, affronted. “There’s nothing wrong with Macs!”

“Sure,” Yamapi reached over to trail a finger along the trackpad, and Jin slapped at his hand. “If you’re some big-haired bimbo starlet…oh, wait…”

“You know very well that Ryo-chan has a Macbook,” Jin sneered. “And I’m telling him you called him a big-haired bimbo starlet just to watch him make you eat your phone charms again.”

Yamapi hesitated for a second at that, because those K8 helmets were fucking pointy, before shoving Jin again and repeating, “Bimbo.”

“We’ll see about that,” Jin said, and then pulled a flat, silver rectangle out of one of the fifteen pockets on his cargo pants.

“Hey,” Yamapi frowned, “what are you doing with my camera?”

“Uploading whatever it is that you have on here.” Jin shrugged, producing a firewire cable from another pocket and slotted it into the camera.

“Ha,” Yamapi said, voice confident but gaze darting from Jin’s face to the camera, back and forth. “Shows what you know, that thing is brand new and I can’t even get it to upload to MY computer, there’s no way your little Angelina-chan has a driver for…”

Angelina-chan bleeped, sounding smug, and Yamapi swallowed.

“Sorry, you were saying something stupid?” Jin asked, looking up with a sharp smile curling the corner of his mouth. Yamapi shook his head and started picking lint off his sweater. “Ah, good, then we can talk about why your camera has fifty-two pictures of me sleeping on it.”

Mac 1, PC 0

“You!” Yamapi yelled as soon as he got into NewS’s dressing room the next day. “This is all your fault!”

“I told you not to take those pictures,” Ryo shrugged from the couch, not looking up from his magazine.

“Not about the pictures!” Yamapi snapped, stomping over to yank the magazine out of Ryo’s hands. “About Angelina-chan!” Yamapi paused, then kicked Ryo in the shin. “AND the pictures!”

Ryo stood up with a snarl, but just then, Tegoshi appeared out of nowhere to wrap arms around Yamapi’s waist and snuggle in for a hug, tilting his face up towards Ryo.

“It’s nice when bandmates get along, ne?” he asked, voice sweet. Ryo glared at Tegoshi, but Tegoshi just stared right back, squeezing Yamapi tight, until Koyama came over reached in between them and gently drew Tegoshi out of the line of fire, murmuring soothing promises of Masuda bringing doughnuts and coffee milk.

Yamapi suddenly didn’t feel like fighting anymore, and from the sour look on Ryo’s face, he didn’t either. They flopped down on the couch, side by side, watching silently as Masuda and Tegoshi cheerfully ganged up on Shige and shoved a whole doughnut in his mouth.

“Jerk,” Yamapi said at length. “I had to sleep on the couch.”

“Awww,” Ryo answered, simpering voice dripping with insincerity, “did Leader-san not get any last night?”

“I didn’t say that,” Yamapi replied. He watched, face impassive, as Shige did something to Masuda that Yamapi couldn’t quite see but which made coffee milk come out Koyama’s nose.

“BELIEVE!” Shige announced, and Tegoshi nodded fervently, eyes wide.

Just then Yamapi’s phone rang, the shrill of Seishun Amigo filling the air, and Yamapi fished it out to answer.

“Yo, Kame,” he said, kicking at Ryo again when he rolled his eyes. “What’s up?”

“Did you give him this computer?” Kame demanded without preamble. “Because if you gave him this computer, I am going to chain you naked to the costume rack and then tell Jun-senpai there’s been a sudden change.”

“What’s wrong with the computer?” Yamapi asked, shifting with a wince so that his legs crossed over his crotch.

“He’s showing a slideshow he made of pictures of himself sleeping,” Kame said. “There must be fifty of them! He even added music! Look, get over here right now or I’m not going to be responsible for what happens!”

The line went dead just as Kame yelled for Ueda to put down the chopsticks, and Yamapi tucked the phone away and stood up, then turned to cross his arms and stare down at Ryo.

“What?” Ryo demanded.

“Get up!” Yamapi said. “I told you, this is all your fault, and you’re coming with me! Or would you rather I tell Ueda exactly who talked Jin into getting a Macbook?”

Ryo and Yamapi glared at each other for a long moment, before finally Ryo stood up, grumbling.

“Tcht,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets as they stepped over Shige and Koyama while Tegoshi and Masuda waved goodbye cheerfully. “It’s not my fault Bakanishi is abusing the awesome power of the Mac.”

Mac 1, PC 1

“Okay,” Yamapi said, sitting down on the couch beside Jin and looking like he had eaten something very sour. “I give up.”

“Mmhmm.” Jin didn’t even look up from his computer screen, and Yamapi cursed him for looking more than a little adorable with his hair pinned out of his face and his glasses on.

“Come on, Jin,” Yamapi coaxed. “I really have to check my email! It’s got my schedule in it!”

“What do you say?” Jin inquired, still typing away without concern.

“I’m really, really sorry I took pictures of you sleeping, and I’m really really sorry I said bad things about Angelina-chan’s plug-n-play capabilities. And,” at this point, Yamapi’s expression of sincerity dialed up a notch, “I’m really, really sorry that I told your band they couldn’t compute their way out of a wet combini sack.”

“And?” Jin finally looked up and fixed his neutral gaze on Yamapi. Yamapi swallowed and looked away from the dark brown of Jin’s eyes.

“Angelina-chan,” Yamapi said slowly, as if each word were paining him greatly, “is very sexy.”

“Okay!” Jin beamed and handed the computer over. “But just to check your email and then I want her right back! She gets grumpy if we’re separated too long!”

“Fine, fine,” Yamapi sighed, baring his teeth at the sleek ripple of Jin’s dock icons.

“Don’t pout, I told you not to open that email from Uebo,” Jin reminded, poking Yamapi in the cheek before laying his head on Yamapi’s shoulder to read over his shoulder. “Especially not after you took away his chopsticks.”

“I LIKE WATCHING GAY PORN!” Yamapi’s laptop crowed from the corner, where Yamapi had shoved it until he could bribe Ryo or Shige into fixing it.

“The best part,” Jin chuckled, as he looked fondly over at Yamapi’s computer, “was how long it took you to notice that something was wrong.”

Ueda’s email was still sitting in Yamapi’s inbox, and after a second of soul-searching, Yamapi’s desire to get even with Jin overcame his need to know his schedule for the rest of the month, and he double-clicked on the attachment paperclip.

Nothing happened.

“Stupid Macs,” Yamapi grumbled as he deleted the email. Jin stroked Angelina-chan’s lid and cooed about her sexy.

Mac 2, PC 1

“Pi!” Jin appeared in the bedroom doorway, hands on his hips and hair bristling with exasperation. Or maybe product. “I called you for dinner four times!”

“In a minute,” Yamapi mumbled from his spot on the bed, tapping away at his newly-repaired laptop.

He looked up, blinking, when Jin was suddenly kneeling beside him on the bed, hand pressed against Yamapi’s forehead. “What are you doing, idiot?”

“You’re sick!” Jin exclaimed, eyes wide with concern and anticipation of the nurse’s outfit. “You never turn down food, you must have overworked yourself again!”

“I’m fine!” Yamapi rolled his eyes and shook off Jin’s hand.

“But you feel warm,” Jin insisted, crossing his arms.

“Oh,” Yamapi swallowed, “well, I was playing this game. And it’s a bit. Well.”

Toumate-T,” Jin read off the computer screen, then he looked a bit closer. “Are those Hikaru no Go characters?”

“Maybe…oof!” Yamapi grunted as Jin flopped down against his side, digging his chin into Yamapi’s collarbone.

“Keep going!” Jin encouraged when Yamapi stared at him rather than going back to the game right away. “I want to see what happens next!”

Two hours later, dinner was long-forgotten and Yamapi had successfully achieved the happy ending. Pushing aside the laptop, Yamapi and Jin sat up to stretch, necks cracking.

“That was fun!” Jin exclaimed, stretching his arms over his head so that his shirt rode up a few inches. “Can you send it to me?”

Yamapi grinned, warm from the game, the stripe of stomach Jin was baring, and long-delayed victory.

“Won’t do you any good,” he purred, grabbing Jin by the shoulders and pushing him down on his back against the comforter. “They don’t make a Mac version.”

Mac 2, PC 2

“Well, this is just great,” Yamapi said, glaring at Jin at he punched the elevator button. “First your stupid computer ruins my life and now we’re getting called to Johnny’s office? What did you do with that thing now?!”

Jin shrugged, trying to look casual, but his fingers were wrapped tight around Angelina-chan, knuckled white.

“Oh god,” Yamapi watched the numbers click by on the floor counter, “oh god, we’re going to get fired, we’re going to get sent away…”

Jin’s breath hitched, loud over the quiet hum of the elevator, and Yamapi immediately regretted his words. He wrapped an arm around Jin’s shoulders and didn’t say anything else until the elevator slid to a stop and the doors opened.

“So,” Johnny said when they were standing in front of his desk, shifting their weight from foot to foot. “I hear you two have a little competition going.”

“Just, ah, just a little one!” Yamapi blurted, glance darting to the side, where Jin was still clutching Angelina-chan. “Nothing serious!”

“Is that right, Jin-kun?” Johnny tilted his head, interested, and Yamapi elbowed Jin when Jin didn’t answer right away.

“Yes.” Jin held up his computer. “This is Angelina-chan. Ryo helped me pick her out, but Pi’s done all those Toshiba ads, so…”

“Ah, yes.” Johnny steepled his fingers. “The ads.”


“How did I even get here?” Yamapi moaned, tugging at his suit’s collar and glaring at Jin, who got to wear jeans and a hoodie. It looked really soft, and fleecy, and made Jin’s eyes look big and dark and goddamn, these trousers were tight.

“What?” Jin looked down at himself, then back up at Yamapi, tilting his head. “You don’t like it?”

Yamapi was growling his response when the director yelled for them to get on-set, and Jin cheerfully skipped by Yamapi, seizing his wrist on the way by and dragging them to their places.

“Perfect!” the director called as they got into their spots. “Ready? Action!”

“Hello,” Yamapi said, thankful that at least being long-suffering was considered in-character for this particular role. “I’m a PC.”

“Yo,” Jin drawled, tucking his hands into his hoodie pockets and flicking his hair out of his eyes to smile lazily at the camera. “I’m a Mac.”

Final Score: Mac 2, PC 2, Pin 4 ever ♥

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